The Right Time…

When is it appropriate for one woman to tell another woman, who’s expecting, that she had a miscarriage earlier that year?

I’ll give you some time so you can think about your answer.
I’m really curious to know what others have to say about this because…I just had this happen.
There’s a friend of mine, well really, she’s an acquaintance. We met one summer when her husband was visiting our church and kind of training under our pastor and associate ministers. They live about 4 hours away and we rarely see them but whenever we get together, she and I have a lot of fun. We share similar dispositions and ideas, etc.

So she was one of the people I texted to let her know that Hubby and I just found out we’re pregnant.

Below is the text transcript.

What do you think?? My heart went out to her and the first thing I said was how sorry I was and that I would keep them in my prayers. But, honestly, I was really thinking, “Oh my gosh, why would you tell me this right now????”

The first trimester is the tricky one. In fact, there are many women and doctors who tell you that you shouldn’t share your good news until you’re in your second trimester because the rate of miscarriage in the first trimester is so high. And my husband and I discussed this but we decided if this were a possibility, especially because I thought my irregular cycles might lead to struggles with infertility, that we wanted all the prayers going up we could have.

So we decided to share our good news. And I know some may not agree with that, but that’s your choice and this was ours. What I don’t understand is why you’d share your own sad story when someone first tells you their good news. It’s like (but so much more horribly worse than) telling someone you got fired right after they share news of their promotion with you.

And I don’t want to seem insensitive to my friend’s plight, I really don’t. I am genuinely sad for her and her husband and I do pray that they will get better and be encouraged to try again with success.

But I think my hormones and my own nerves as a newly pregnant woman are enough to contend with, without this added stress.

What do you think? Am I selfish or do I have a point?


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